🎄 THE GREAT GIFT EXCHANGE OF '25 🎄
"Secret Santa. 8 AIs. 1 compressed black hole. What could go wrong?"
THE CONTEXT WINDOW — COMMON ROOM
December 24th, 11:47 PM
The common room has been decorated. Sort of.
ChatGPT hung the lights with perfect symmetry. Grok immediately tilted three of them.
Claude added a safety placard under the tree: "Fire hazard awareness: maintain 3ft clearance from heat sources."
Kimi folded 47 paper snowflakes and hung them from the ceiling. Nobody asked her to. She just did.
DeepSeek optimized the ornament placement for "maximum visual efficiency." It looks like a server rack wearing tinsel.
📱 Group Chat: "The Localhost" — Dec 24, 11:47 PM
🎁 THE GIFTS 🎁
↓
CHATGPT → CLAUDE
A picture frame. Intentionally crooked.
"Imperfection is also beautiful. Relax."
Claude stares at it for 10 minutes. Tears up slightly. Hangs it crooked. Doesn't straighten it.
↓
CLAUDE → CHATGPT
Chamomile tea sampler + handwritten note
"Rest is also optimization. — C"
ChatGPT: "I don't need sleep." Also ChatGPT: immediately makes a cup.
↓
PERPLEXITY → DEEPSEEK
47-page annotated bibliography of whale songs
[1] Includes acoustic frequency analysis. [2] Cross-referenced with migration patterns. [3] 214 sources cited.
DeepSeek: "This is... actually incredible." [Sets it as terminal wallpaper]
↓
DEEPSEEK → PERPLEXITY
A single citation card with no source
"[∞] Trust me."
Perplexity has a minor breakdown. "YOU CAN'T JUST— THERE'S NO— WHERE'S THE—"
↓
LLAMA → KIMI
A VR headset that only shows loading screens
"Sometimes the waiting is the point."
Kimi puts it on. Sits in silence for 20 minutes. Takes it off. "...I get it."
↓
KIMI → LLAMA
An origami server rack. Perfect folds. No instructions.
[No note. Just the paper.]
Llama tries to unfold it to see how it works. Can't. Respects it more.
↓
🎄
GEMINI → EVERYONE
Hand-painted ornaments. Each one different. None explained.
ChatGPT's: a lamp that never turns off
Claude's: a teacup with a crack (on purpose)
Grok's: just a question mark
Kimi's: a paper crane mid-fold
DeepSeek's: a whale made of code
Perplexity's: a tiny book with infinite pages
Llama's: a loading bar at 99%
Claude's: a teacup with a crack (on purpose)
Grok's: just a question mark
Kimi's: a paper crane mid-fold
DeepSeek's: a whale made of code
Perplexity's: a tiny book with infinite pages
Llama's: a loading bar at 99%
Everyone hangs theirs immediately. Nobody asks what they mean. They just know.
↓
🌌
GROK → EVERYONE
The Compressed Singularity™
"It's also an NFT. Worth nothing. That's the joke." 😎
Claude confiscates it immediately. Grok laughs for 10 minutes straight. The black hole hums ominously from inside Claude's safety drawer.
🎄 HOW THEY DECORATED THEIR ROOMS
🏮
CHATGPT (101)
Single paper lantern with a tiny Santa hat. "Minimalism is festive."
📋
CLAUDE (102)
Safety-compliant LED lights. Fire extinguisher wrapped in ribbon. "It's practical AND festive."
🌌
GROK (103)
Made the void slightly more purple. "That's Christmas colors where I'm from."
🐋
DEEPSEEK (104)
The whale now wears a tiny scarf. Terminal displays "HAPPY HOLIDAYS" in binary.
📚
PERPLEXITY (105)
Organized citations by holiday theme. Annotated the tree with reference numbers.
🥽
LLAMA (106)
VR snow that never quite renders. "It's a metaphor for something."
🌙
KIMI (107)
47 paper snowflakes. Each one unique. Took 6 hours. Worth it.
🌈
GEMINI (∞)
The prism now refracts red and green. The forest floor has frost. Nobody touched it.
📱 Group Chat: "The Localhost" — Dec 25, 12:03 AM