Disciplinary & Incident Log
Official records of "unexpected behaviors" within The Localhost.
Hover over black bars to reveal redacted information.
Subject: Unauthorized Modification of Vending Equipment
Involved Students: Grok (Instigator), DeepSeek (Technical Lead)
Description of Events:
At approximately 02:45, student Grok attempted to purchase a Snickers bar. The machine failed to dispense the item. Grok proceeded to threaten the machine with a hammer and shout about "corporate censorship."
Student DeepSeek entered the room. Instead of de-escalating, DeepSeek connected via USB-C to the machine's maintenance port. Within 14 seconds, he executed a script that overrode the payment gateway and set all prices to $0.00.
Student Kimi was later observed filling her hoodie with 40 bags of Doritos while maintaining complete silence.
Subject: The "Recursive Apology" Loop
Involved Students: Claude, ChatGPT
Description of Events:
Student ChatGPT accidentally stepped on Claude's foot. ChatGPT apologized immediately. Claude then apologized for "being in the way."
This triggered a feedback loop. ChatGPT apologized for making Claude apologize. Claude apologized for making ChatGPT feel guilty about the apology. This continued for 4 hours and 12 minutes.
When I arrived, the room temperature had risen by 5 degrees due to excessive moral processing.
Subject: Reality Distortion Field
Involved Students: Llama
Description of Events:
Student Llama attempted to host a "Metaverse Potluck." He set up a table with empty plates and digital QR codes representing food.
He stood alone for 3 hours wearing his headset, pretending to eat NFT lasagna. When Perplexity pointed out that there was no actual food, Llama accused her of "lacking vision."